Jake’s Corner

Welcome to Jake’s Corner, a newsletter from UBA board member Dr. Jake Goodman. Dr. Jake Goodman is a psychiatry resident physician & global mental health activist with more than 2.1 million followers on social media.

Jake’s Corner

Welcome to Jake’s Corner, a newsletter from UBA board member Dr. Jake Goodman. Dr. Jake Goodman is a psychiatry resident physician & global mental health activist with more than 2.1 million followers on social media.

Hi everyone!

I hope you had a relaxing weekend. Last month, my wife worked her LAST night block in residency, so I decided to try something a little unconventional:

I took myself on a solo-date. And it was kind of awesome.

Solo-dating is what it sounds like – taking yourself out on a date, regardless of your relationship status. It’s a time to prioritize yourself and TREAT YOURSELF to some quality time.

Here’s are 4 reasons why you should plan a solo-date this month:

  1. Promotes Confidence: When you step out alone, YOU are solely responsible for YOUR OWN enjoyment. This independence builds confidence as you learn to rely on yourself (not others) for a good time.
  2. Pushes You Out of Your Comfort Zone: Trying new things solo can be intimidating, but it’s also incredibly empowering.
  3. Builds Resilience: Handling situations independently strengthens your resilience. You become more adaptable to unexpected challenges, knowing you have the capability to navigate them solo.
  4. Ultimate Self-Care: How would you act on a date? You’d probably say nice things to someone, compliment them, make them feel appreciated? On a solo date, YOU are the date, so treat yourself with that same love and kindness. You deserve it.

TBH, planning my solo date, and driving there, was intimidating. When I arrived, I felt awkward. In psychology there’s something called the Spotlight Effect. It’s where our brain tricks us into thinking everyone’s watching & judging us, but in reality, most people are wrapped up in their own lives and concerns. Essentially, nobody cares lol. Once, I reminded myself of this, I started to feel more like myself and within a few minutes, I actually felt a profound sense of calm confidence.

“It’s a time to prioritize yourself and TREAT YOURSELF to some quality time.”

Here are 4 steps to get started with solo-dating:

  1. Start Small: Begin by taking yourself out for a solo walk in the park or catch a movie you’ve been wanting to see.
  2. Choose Activities You Enjoy: Focus on activities that bring YOU joy (see below for options!)
  3. Be Present: Practice mindfulness during your solo dates. Pay attention to your surroundings, savor every bite of your meal (MINDFUL EATING), and soak in the moments of solitude. And as much as possible, try to avoid using your phone.
  4. Celebrate Yourself: Treat yourself with the same kindness and respect you would offer a date. Embrace the opportunity to connect with yourself on a deeper level.

10 Solo Date Ideas:

  1. Go on a solo walk in nature
  2. Go out for a meal
  3. Visit a museum or gallery
  4. Go to a concert
  5. Go to the movies
  6. Visit a local market (i.e. farmers market)
  7. Go shopping for clothes
  8. Read in a coffee shop
  9. Go to a Fitness class
  10. The ultimate solo date – a solo vacation

Good luck friends  Wishing you moments of joy and self-discovery on your solo-dating journey.

Disclaimer: This e-mail message and any content attached to it are for educational and informational purposes only, and nothing herein is intended to be, or shall be construed as, medical advice, or as a substitute for medical advice. Any reliance on such information is expressly at your own risk. 

This Week’s Sources:

Godfrey CM, Harrison MB, Lysaght R, Lamb M, Graham ID, Oakley P. The experience of self-care: a systematic review. JBI Libr Syst Rev. 2010;8(34):1351-1460. doi:10.11124/01938924-201008340-00001

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